At Audiotuts+ we irregularly put up a reader track for workshopping and critique (find out how to submit a track). This is how it works: you upload your song, and every week or so we’ll publish one here and step away from the podium. The floor is yours to talk about the track and how the artist can fix problems in and improve upon the mix and the song.
Thanks for your submissions everyone – and keep them coming. We have enough to publish two or three a week at the moment. Let me know if it gets too much.
This track has been submitted for your friendly, constructive criticism. They have put their track (and their heart and soul) in your hands to learn and get useful feedback.
- Do you enjoy the song or track itself? Does it have potential?
- Can the arrangement be improved?
- How did you find the mix? What would you do differently?
- What do you enjoy about the rhythm track? What can be done to improve it?
- Is the choice of instruments relevant and effective for the style/song?
- Are the lyrics (if any) effective? Does the style, arrangement and genre of the song suit them?
- Can you suggest any specific techniques that might improve the track?
- Do you have any other constructive feedback?
As Dust by Schizo
Description of the track:
An easy listening song with an underlying message to society. Think Massive Attack meets Zero 7.
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Terms of Use: Streamed from Audiotuts+ website for workshop.
Have a listen to the track and offer your constructive criticism for this Workshop in the comments section.
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By Adrian Try
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This is a really nice track overall. I particularly like the rhythm guitar part throughout.
There are a few things I might recommend, though. You might consider adding a noticeably different bridge section. You set up my expectations for one at both 1:32 and 2:49, but it didn’t come at either one. Personally, I would turn up the feature guitar at 1:32 a bit, and then add a new bridge element at 2:49 that is completely different. That variation could be a nice break in the flow.
I think the chorus could benefit from a bit more contrast too. If you listen to the drum track, the underlying beat stays pretty much the same as it transitions into the chorus. I think it needs a more noticeable change in the bass/snare pattern during those sections to define the chorus a little better; right now it’s a little hard to tell when the chorus ends. (I’d also watch the overuse of crash cymbals. Real drummers don’t often play a crash at the beginning of every phrase. Playing one on the downbeat of every measure is even rarer.)
I know that you call this “easy listening”, but if I were producing this track, I would ask you to do a version with a heavier, more prominent drum beat, especially as the song progresses. The rimshot is OK at the beginning and maybe for the verses, but I would step up to the snare for the chorus. It may surprise you just how good it would sound. (It sounds good in my mind, but I could be way off base.)
Being a bassist, I’m biased, but the bass is also really under-represented, I think, particularly as part of the rhythm section. Any bass frequencies that are there are really part of the pad. Consider writing a bass part that bridges the rhythm guitar with the drums and rounds out the bottom end of the spectrum.
I listened to a web compressed version of this with headphones, but mix-wise, I would consider a bit more presence on the vocals. Consider pulling the level of the rhythm guitar down a bit at 0:15 and then again during the verse. We’ve already heard the repeating motif, so it doesn’t need to be as far forward in the mix. The drums also seem a little out of balance with the rhythm guitar (drums too soft).
Again, these are just my suggestions as to how you might improve the song. Overall, I liked it.
Real nice track.
I wouldn’t have panned the drums to the left, but the kick and snare in the centre.
great feeling of space and width via the set up of the pan. I tend to agree with Screenwright’s comment about the drums and bass tho.
nice opening. nice harmonies. nice multiple melodic lines at the ending.
Thanks for the kind words and especially @Screenwright for those constructive comments!
I totally agree with the bass and drum parts! Actually I’ve written, played all instruments and recorded the whole song by myself (except of course the vocals who are done by a girlfriend of mine), so during the mixing/mastering process I tend to oversee some things. I haven’t got a bass nor drum recording material, so these are actually done by computer – maybe that’s why they sound a little flat? It’s hard to keep focused when you’re so close to the song. It’s really nice to hear what could be improved.
Thanks a lot!
Sweet singing. I do think there should be a little more drums in the mix and some snare, as the song builds. It would be more dramatic when it comes to the end around 3:42. The vocals build and it would be really cool to have the music build with it, and the drop off would be more profound. Nice track!
Very nice track – synths, voice and guitar all feel so warm & natural wow.
I absolutely love what you have done with the harmonies in the song. Not a big fan of the chorus at the end though (mss iet te melig voor mij)
Also not sure if it really needs a bass line, but the track lacks some lower frequencies. I’d layer (duplicate) those rhythm tracks, obtain a more wider and deeper kind of kick – they need some more ‘oempf’ . Use compressors, eq’s, reverbs, saturators whatever and try combining them to get a fuller sound. Might use some more elements and variations in the percussion section too.
I like the different lead guitar part that stand outs around 1:32 and 2:50. Could live bit longer…
Anyway, a very adorable piece of music you two made there amigo… Keep it up!
-fish°