Imagine if you will, your band is sitting at the very edge of rock greatness. All those years spent in cramped vans touring the sleaziest of clubs have finally paid off.

You’ve signed the big money contract and recorded what, most everyone involved tells you, may be the greatest damn album ever made. But there is one problem. Nobody is paying attention. So what do you do to get yourself some much needed publicity? No idea, but here are six things you may want to avoid, if that helps.

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Sure, seeing your favorite musician on stage, at their best, can be an inspiring thing. But let’s be honest: being lucky enough to be around at that special moment when everything goes wrong and that guitar wielding bajillionaire completely loses it…that’s way better.

There was a time when stories of on stage meltdowns were just that, stories. That was before video cameras, camera phones, and YouTube. Now, we get to see it all. For example…

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Guitar, drums, bass, vocals. That’s what most bands need to pull off a great song. But sometimes, the situation may call for something more. You know, like a hurdy gurdy! Check out these examples of famous musicians who said “damn the guitar, hand me a Conundrum!” Or something to that effect.

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The idea of rock star as rebel dates at least as far back as Elvis and his girl-baiting hips on the Ed Sullivan Show. As pervasive as the rock and roll badass is, even more prevalent is the rock star decline from badass to mild-mannered musician.

Today, we look back on five musicians who once typified everything that was dangerous and threatening about music but eventually went on to be a sad, soft, shell of their former selves. Hey hey, my my.

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With the possible exceptions of love, sex, and slaying mythical beasts, no topic has commanded the attention of song-writers throughout history more than death. From Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” to The Shangri-La’s “Leader of the Pack” and even as far back as Beethoven’s “Deathstomp 9 in D minor”, the great beyond has been the inspiration for some of the most compelling songs ever written.

If you think I’m making up the title of that Beethoven number, by all means, go ahead and Google it, I’ll wait. Did you do it? Wow, you are a gullible one, aren’t you?

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